Forum : Off Topic : Problems with school or at hom

huh...problems??? wel yes i have problems. So many...parents are arseholes .....so strict. Not allowed to date or see friends...but i still do!!!! got a bf...really nice...I LUV HIM lol...friends...Can't be trusted...school...HATE IT SOOOOO MUCH!

It's ok I have the same problems! That's why I started this topic!

Since no one is really going to answer this question, let's start with my own situation. My parents are currently in a divorce by means of a lawsuit, which is not a very nice situation to be in. However, I'm managing pretty well, working on Moron.nl and all :-)

Relationshipwise, I've just realized I can never get my ex-girlfriend back so sometimes that stuff is hard to deal with. On the other hand, I've hooked up with this new girl and things are going quite well.

I don't have the bullying issue, but that is mostly because I'm one of the oldest guys around, and that I sometimes intimidate people because of my long hair and aggressive bandshirts.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents! And your ex-girlfriend! But hey! At least you have a good relationship with another girl!

Heehee, you want to hear problems? Sit backa nd enjoy the rant/rave.

We'll start with the first topic:

Parents: My mom and I have a very violent relationship, only because I don't let people walk all over me, not even my mom. She likes to hit me whenever I "talk back." My dad knows my mom hits me, but sides with her on mostly everything anyway. He's never home, so he can never interfere. My younger sister is getting into the stage where I am, except I hit back whenever I can. So, yeah....

Boys: I just met this AMAZING kid. Problem? He's eighteen and just spent some time in a mental hospital for trying to kill himself. He's a total sweetheart, though. Issue? I'm fourteen, but he doesn't know that. He thinks I'm 15. I REALLY like him, but I know my parents won't let me date him. So, yet another lie gets added to the list.

Secrets: Haha, why I'm posting this on the internet, I don't know...;P

Here are just a few that I keep from my parents:

1. I'm not Christian
2. I've done practically everything with a guy but have sex.
3. I've had 6 boyfriends this year, but I'm not allowed to date until I'm sixteen.
4. I cut myself.
5. I drink.
6. I have gotten high.
7. I have, by definition, been a prostitute.
8. I used to have an account on myspace.

I think I'll stop there. One major secret I've kept from my friends that they'll hate me for if they see this is:

I STILL CUT. I HAVEN'T STOPPED.

Yeah, well, that's what this is for, right?

Sweet lies and lullabies,

Brendonfreak

Well, everything but the cutting and being a prostitue seems ok in my book. As long as safe sex is practised. You don't want any children now, do you?

You've got to stop cutting though, no question about it.

Parenting issue: I think your mother is on the wrong side here for hitting you. That's just not the solution - violence is not the answer. Especially if you talk back - sure, I cannot look what's going on in your house, but if you come up with good reasons why you disagree with her, it might make her lost for words so she seeks for an aggressive method to work things out.

Boy thing:
I don't know what the age limits are in your state, but as fasr as I can see that 14 and 18 isn't that much of a deal - especially if you are a equally developed, let's say on the same frequency, the same page. My last girlfriend actually was 14 when I dated her, and I was 18.

Secrets issue:
1) So? Religion is your own choice, and no one can decide whatever you believe in. I am an atheist myself and I don't mind using satan in my metal band's lyrics. I can deduct from your message that your parents are rather restrictive and conservative, but if they are really that respectful as the Church might want them to be, they should respect your opinion and your religious beliefs.

2) Well, I've messed around with girls too, had sex and everything else. So what? Enjoy life, as long as you are carefull with STD's and all that kind of crap - be protective and don't take hasty decisions. Other than that, it is not a problem. You might've been brainwashed by your Christian parents, but sex before marriage is not considered a problem everywhere, such as in the Netherlands. As long as you don't get forced to do it, whatsoever.

3) Same issue: Enjoy your life. Your parents might be protective, on the one hand that's good: they should be. On the other hand: you should learn from your own mistakes.

4) I just have nothing positive to say about that. You might have all your reasons and stuff, but well, no. Just don't do it.

5) It might be illegal by law, but as long as you maintain your normal life and don't overconsume alcohol, I don't have a problem with this. I've been drinking for years now.

6) Law-wise and all I'd just say you should be really careful with that. Moreover, there is evidence that there are links between memory problems, schizophrenia, depression and increased chance of cancer by pot smoking at the adolescent age. Also take care of some junks - where there's drugs, there's always a darker side. You don't wanna go there - trust me.

7) See nr. 2.
8) So what? :)

Just my two cents here, my personal view on all this!

I kinda of agree with Wolf and then again I don't. Drinking is bad but only if your under the age of 18 so for Wolf it isn't bad. About the religion thing, It's ok if you don't want to be Christian and your parents want to. It's your life and you should live the way you want to. Just tell your parents if you don't want to be Christian. See you might live in another country then I do but in the U.S. then drinking under age is illegal but again it is your live. But sometimes making the wrong choices can lead to death.

I understand that it isn't the answer I should have for my stress release, but if you've never done it, you don't know the addiction you get. That's my problem, I'm addicted to it. I don't want help, it's been kept from my mom for months, and my new scars from my friends for weeks.

I don't really know what to do, and I want to do it again. My parents and I just got into another arguement a few days ago, and my mom almost hit me again. I'm happy she didn't but...

I have reasons for cutting, but.... what do I do??

Sweet lies and lullabies,

Brendonfreak

P.S. Wolf, Aiken, thanks so much for your advice. I promise I'll try to quit.

P.P.S. The law where I live, I can't have a sexual relationship with a guy 4 years older than me. This is where the issue is...

In my country, its like a fashion trend which is stupid to me but there are people who are like you.

I'm addicted to the colour of blood, espcecially when it's not to thin or thick.
I don't mind getting a cut, I'll be entertaing myself while looking at the blood though I'm not sure why.

I understand your addiction because i relieve stress by cutting something hard,includes vandalising. And it's addictive.

Try cut something else but not yourself

You both seem intelligent people to me.
You both try to explain why you are cutting yourselves, but if I think hard I can't find any reason. There are no advantages.

I hope you will try to find yourselves back, your heart, your soul, you mind and that this will stop the cutting.
You probably want to do something in sports or art. Those have helped me overcome all problems I've faced in my life.

Cutting was not included, so to be totally honest: I don't know what I'm talking about. Just trying to give you feedback.

Love,

Aiken

Although I've ever done it and don't plan on it (I have a phobia of blood and needles), I can understand how it could be addicting... My mom cut herself when she was a teen due to personal issues, and found it as a way of gaining control in her life and releasing the internal pain.

...I don't know if it would work, but I saw a docu. where instead of cutting herself, a girl would snap a rubberband on her arm to get out the wanting to cut (i guess it gave her the same experience)... she would also buy red dye since it's the color of blood. I tuned in half way through, though.

(?_?) I don't know. The issue of cutting is a pretty complex one and can be difficult to explain, but I really hope you work on quiting, brendonfreak!!

Much of love,
Jenny

I cut last night. It was the best feeling I've had in months. I'm not sure what to do anymore!!!

I don't cry, and I guess cutting is the equivalent for me.

Agh!

Sweet lies and Lullabies,

Brendonfreak

ok u need to stop cutting do something else when u get mad or something! how bout u swear, yell, hit somebody! (forget that last part but hey at least it's better then cutting!)

I agree with you on that she need to stop and find an alternative... but it's easier said than done.

What would most likely help is to go talk to a perfessional, who can give better advice.
__________________________
>Jenny Lindeman wrote:
ok u need to stop cutting do something else when u get mad or something! how bout u swear, yell, hit somebody! (forget that last part but hey at least it's better then cutting!)

No...

I can't get help because my mom doesn't know and won't find out.

I know I chould get help, but...

Like you say, Jenny, it is easier said than done.

I know how hard it can be to get help with personal issues, but please don't give up trying. You can stop cutting. By the sounds of it, you have a strong willpower - I guessed, because I've wanted to cut myself in the past, and have self harmed, but I was always too scared to draw blood. You could try methods like snapping a rubber band on your wrist (thanks, Jenny Valentine) or do what one of my friends, also a cutter, did: put a spoon in the freezer, and anytime you feel the need to cut, hold it against your wrist. It hurts, but doesn't harm you. Hope I helped,
Stay strong,
ElninoQ

P.S. I'm not a professional, you don't have to listen to me i f you don't want :)

Yeah, my friend told me to do that with an icecube, but, idk, I like the feeling. I like watvhing the stress be relieved from my body, like the blood run down my arm(or more recently my leg) and idk...

There's no real excuse for it, and I need to stop.