Lyrics: Thank Goodness

[The Act opens with Ozians.}

[Ozians:] Every day the wicked
Every day the terror grows
All of Oz is ever on alert
That's the way with wicked
Spreading fear where e'er she goes
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!
[Ozian woman:] Like some terrible green blizzard
Throughout the land she flies...
[Ozian man:] Defaming our poor wizard
[Ozians:] With her calumnies and lies
She lies!
Save us from the wicked
Shield us so we won't be hexed
Give us warning
Where will she strike next
Where will she strike next
Where will she strike next

(Glinda, Fiyero and Morrible appear onstage on a podium.)

[Glinda:] Fellow Ozians, as terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one day... and celebrate!
Oh what a celebration we'll have today!
[Ozians:] Thank goodness!
[Glinda:] Let's have a celebration the Glinda way!
[Ozians:] Thank goodness!
[Morrible:] Finally a day that's totally wicked witch free
[All:] We couldn't be happier
Thank goodness!
[Morrible:] And thank goodness for you, Glinda, and your handsome swain, our new captain of the guard. (To Fiyero.) Now you've been at the forefront of the hunt for the Wicked Witch, haven't you?
[Fiyero:] Not really, but I don't like to think of her as a Wicked Witch.
[Morrible:] Captain, how does it feel?
[Fiyero:] Frustrating... But I became captain of the guard to find her, and I will keep searching!
[Morrible:] No, being engaged!
[Ozians:] Congratulations!
[Fiyero:] (To Glinda; confused.) This is an engagement party?
[Glinda:] Surprised?
[Fiyero:] Yes!
[Glinda:] Good, we hoped you'd be... The Wizard and I!
We couldn't be happier, right dear?
Couldn't be happier, right here
Look what we've got
A fairy tale plot
Our very own happy ending
Where we couldn't be happier
True dear? Couldn't be happier
And we're happy to share our ending vicariously
With all of you!
He couldn't look handsomer
I couldn't be humbler
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true...
[Morrible:] And Glinda, dear, we're happy for you! As Press Secretary, I have striven to ensure that all of Oz knows the story of your braverism! How I vividly remember...
The day you were first summoned
To an audience with Oz,
And although he would not tell you why initially
When you bowed before his thrown
He decreed you'd hence be known
As Glinda the Good, officially!
[Fiyero:] That's not how you described it to me.
[Glinda:] Oh no, not exactly, but (whispers) we'll talk about it later.
[Morrible:] Then with a jealous squee
The wicked witch burst from concealment
Where she had been lurking, surreptitiously!
(Gasps from among the crowd.)
[Ozian:] I hear she has an extra eye that always remains awake!
[Ozian:] I hear that she can shed her skin as easily as a snake!
[Ozian:] I hear some rebel animals are giving her food and shelter!
[Ozian:] I hear her soul is so unclean, pure water can melt her!
[Fiyero:] what?
[Ozians:] Melt her! Please somebody go and melt her!
[Fiyero:] Do you hear that?! Water will melt her? People are so empty-headed they'll believe anything!
[Glinda:] Excuse me just a tick-tock!
(She and Fiyero talk aside.)
[Fiyero:] I can't just stand here grinning pretending to go along with all of this!
[Glinda:] Do you think I like to hear them say those awful things about her? I hate it!
[Fiyero:] Then what are we doing here? Let's go, let's get out of here!
[Glinda:] We can't leave now, not when people are looking to us to raise their spirits.
[Fiyero:] You can't leave, because you can't resist this. And that is the truth.
[Glinda:] Maybe I can't. Is that so wrong? Who could?
[Fiyero:] You know who could. Who has.
[Glinda:] Fiyero, I miss her too, but we can't just stop living. No one has searched harder for her than you. But don't you see? She doesn't want to be found. We have to face it.
[Fiyero:] You're right. I’m sorry, you're right. And if it's going to make you happy, of course I’ll marry you.
[Glinda:] But it'll make you happy too, right?
[Fiyero:] You know me... I’m always happy. (He runs off.)
[Glinda:] Fiyero! Thanks plenty dearest! He's gone to fetch me a refreshment, he's so thoughtful that way!
That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is I admit, the tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated,
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier...
Well, not simply...
'Cuz getting your dreams, it's strange but it seems
A little, well, complicated...
There's a kind of a sort of cost
There's a couple of things get lost...
There are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you've crossed!
And if that joy that thrill
Doesn't thrill like you think it will...
Still... With this perfect finale
The cheers and the ballyhoo
Who wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true...
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens when your dreams come... true!!
[Ozians:] We love you Glinda if we may be so frank!
[Glinda:] Thank goodness!
[Ozians:] For all this joy we know who we've got to thank!
Thank goodness!
That means the wizard, Glinda...
[Glinda:] And fiance!
[Ozians:] They couldn't be goodlier
She couldn't be lovelier
We couldn't be luckier!
[Glinda:] I couldn't be happier!!!
[Ozians:] Thank goodness!!!
[Glinda:] Today!!!!
[Ozians:] Today, thank goodness for today!