Lyrics: Outakes From Urine Town

Wil and Adam asked Tripod to do fictional extracts from the Tony-award-winning musical "Urine Town". Tripod love musicals. Well, they also really like wee jokes. Plus, footy pep-talk idiom, just for kicks.

Lights up
Curtain opens
Three, four

Just another happy day in Urine Town
There's nothing to damp your mood or get you down
In Urine Town

We don't have problems
That we can't work out
Wee, wee, wee
In Urine Town

Excuse me, sir, can you direct me to the theatre? I came all the way from Pissburgh, and I'm going to make it big! I'm going to write my name on every wall in town!

You might as well go home, son
You might as well go home
The urine factory's closed
And you

What was that last bit, Mister
You might as well go home, son
Yeah, yeah, sir, I heard that
There used to be a steady stream of gold here
Now it's just wet and cold here
Since the urine factory closed down
Hey sir, but excuse me, what is wrong with you
I'm really pissed
Oh, fine. Well, you sound like Yon doing an impression of Tom Weeks

I couldn't help but overhear your conversation
And who are you, Mister
I'm the guy who tells you about the town meeting
Oh

Order! Order!

It's all gone to piss here in Urine Town
It's all gone down the drain
Nothing gets passed here in Urine Town
What are we gonna do

I know! We might as well go home
Oh, shut up, will ya Mister! Order!
Order! Order!
The mayor wants to speak

Everything might stink here in Urine Town
But if we all pull together as a team
We can kick another goal here in Urine Town
We can push through the pack here in Urine Town
It's not over 'till the siren goes in Urine Town

Yes, but what are we going to do
Oh, excuse me. I have an idea!
Don't listen to him, he's from Pissburgh
But wait, listen. Hear me out. We don't need the urine factory. We can make our own urine!

That's preposterous! Surely not!
Wait! Wait! I believe in him

She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen
Skin as white as porcelain, eyes as blue as the bluest water you can imagine
A handy duck-shaped neck, perfect for all those awkward, hard-to-reach spots
I felt that I'd pissed my life against the wall until this moment

So come on, everyone! Pull down your pants! We can all put in our share! This town's destiny is in our own hands!

Future's bright and clear in Urine Town
So the town shook off the yoke of corporate oppression
You can hear for miles around the hissing sound
And pissing became something that everyone did
In Urine Town
And I married that girl
In Urine Town