Lyrics: Ernie

I am the bringer of your wishes
your saviour from doing work
the washer of your dishes
and you still get your midday perk
estate agent your mansion
and pot of gold all the home comforts
before you’re getting tired and old

One more try try to get what you’ve never had
five more bob for the whole world it can’t be bad
we can’t all win look it’s happening
the futures looking not so bleak

A thousand winners every week
a thousand winners every week

So when you hear me coming
along halls and up the stairs
in the back of teapots
in the cupboard under chairs
forget all your wive’s tales
of forecasts and dividends
when Ernie feels vibrations
only pays out to trusted friends

One more try try to get what you’ve never had
five more bob for the whole world it can’t be bad
we can’t all win look it’s happening
the futures looking not so bleak

a thousand winners every week
a thousand winners every week

congratulations you’ve just won
a five thousand pound premium bond

Your hand on the bottle
and your eyes screwed upon the set
when the score comes up it could be you for the big one yet
no thank you on the front page of the Currant Bun
they think you stink but in the pub you’ll be number one

One more try try to get what you’ve never had
five more bob for the whole world it can’t be bad
we can’t all win look it’s happening
the futures looking not so bleak

A thousand winners every week
a thousand winners every week
a thousand winners every week
a thousand winners every week