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Lyrics: The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson

Artist: Frank Zappa
Song: The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson
Released: 1993
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The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson lyrics
(Next during the JIMMY CARL BLACK PHILOSOPHY LESSON we learn that If
you wanna get laid after the show, you gotta play rock n roll music an drink
beer -- you're not gonna get laid anyway with those uniforms on! He
announces his intention to quit The Mothers, planning to make his way into
the audience in order to hustle some young ladies. It was my unfortunate
duty to remind him that here in London, your'e not gonna get any pussy
unless you like a pop star --. The make-up team dresses him up to look like
a cross between Donovan and Jimi Hendrix. With a bottle of beer (DOUBLE
DIAMOND) in each hand he charges into the audience.)

FZ:
At this very moment Jimmy Carl Black the Indian of the group is
approaching the stage. Jimmy Carl likes to drink and also likes to boogie all
night long and is also horny. Approaches Underwood in his transformed state
at the piano and ask him this all important question:

Jimmy Carl:
Hey I thought we're gonna play a Rock & Roll concert. What is this?

Ian:
Jimmy Carl Black indian of the group? Four fours.

Jimmy Carl:
How are you gonna get laid if you dont play rock & roll & drink beer.
You get laid after the concert if you play rock & roll, this kind of crap you're
not gonna . . .

Ian:
You're not gonna get laid anyway with that uniform on.

Jimmy Carl:
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna quit I'm gonna out and hustle me
some chick, the hell with you. I'm leaving the group.

(?):
Jimmy you need some discipline

FZ:
Jimmy Carl(?) For your own good, that here in London you're not gonna get
any pussy unless you look like a popstar. Fix him up! Mod Jacket, a thrilly
Mod Neckpiece, Jimmy Hendrix wig, and a Feather Boa.

Jimmy Carl:
Waaaaaaaaaaa

FZ:
Jimmy Carl Black enters the audience to hustle some young ladies. Go on
Jim see if you can get any action, and if you get lucky fix us up too. And if
you're really lucky, get something for the robots... Mmmm the little
mechanical things are going up and down, up and down.

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