Lyrics: Muffin Man

The Muffin Man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the utility
muffin research kitchen.

Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon,
he gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants.

Brushing his scapular aside, he proceeds to dump these inside
of his shirt.

He turns to us and speaks, "Some people like cupcakes better, I for one
care less for them."

Arrogently twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully-charged icing
annointment utencil, he puts forth a quarter ounce green rossette near
the summit of a dense but radiant muffin of his own design.

Later he says, "Some people, like cupcakes exclusively while myself I
say there is naught, nor ought there be nothing so exhalted on the face of
god's gray earth, as that prince of foods, the muffin.

Girl you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
He hung around till you found that he didn't know nuthin'

Girl you thought he was a man but he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin'