Lyrics: You're Only Second Rate

Lyrics and Music by Randy Petersen & Kevin Quinn

I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing
I bet you've got a bunny under your hat
Now here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
C'mon, clown, let's see what you've got
You try to slam me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date
You're only second rate!
You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame
You've got a lot to learn about the genie game
So for your education I'll reiterate
You're only second rate!

Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a great escape
It's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate!
You know, your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
You're only second rate!

Zaba-caba-dabra!
Granny's gonna grab ya!
Alakazam-da-mus
And this thing's bigger than the both of us
So spare me your tremendous scare
You look horrendous in your underwear
And I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I'll send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
You'd make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate!