Lyrics: What's My Age Again

I took her out it was Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
we started making out and she took off my pants
but then I turned on the TV

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by TV shows
what the fuck is a.d.d.?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
and your husband's in jail
this state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by prank phone calls
what the fuck is caller ID?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
where's my asian friend?

(It's the slow pretty part!)

And that's about the time she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and you still act like you're in Freshman year
what the fuck is wrong with me?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?

And that's about the time she broke up with me
no one should take themselves so seriously
with many years ahead to fall in line
why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
what's my age again?
who's my asian friend?

What's my age again?

------------

Mark: Where's my asian friend?
Fuck yeah!
Tom: Hey Mark! I'm starting to get sweaty, and contrary to what
most people think, I think I look better wet. I've been campaigning
this for about two years now. So throughout the show, you will see
me getting sexier and sexier as it gets hotter and hotter. Ya know?
Mark: And...
Tom: And what?
Mark: If you watch close enough, you might watch Tom getting fatter
and fatter as the show goes on too.
Tom: Why would I be getting fatter?
Mark: Cause...
Tom: Boobies!!!
Mark: Oh jeez. Stop it, no.
Tom: You are too young.
Mark: You're way too young. Gosh. Let me tell you why you're gonna get
fatter and fatter, because dog semen is full of calories.
Tom: Yeah, don't eat dog semen, we hear that there's, uh, there's...,
it's the number one cause of, uh, bad breath.
Hey, this song is about when I had too much alcoholic beverages and
got kicked out of high school, wrote a song about it, and here it goes
like this.
Mark: Wanna here it, here it goes!