Lyrics: Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured

Ask if we can have six in
If not we'll have to have two
Well you're coming up our end aren't you
So I'll get one with you
Oh won't he let us have six in
Especially not with the food
He could have just told us no though
He didn't have to be rude

You see her with the green dress
She talked to me at the bar
How come it's already two pound fifty
We've only gone about a yard
Didn't you see she were gorgeous
She were beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff Ice
Came and payed for her tropical reef

Sitting going backwards
And I didn't want to leave
I said it's Shire Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Well how funny were that sketch earlier
Up at that taxi rank
Oh no you woulda missed it
Think it were when you went to the bank
These lads squaring up proper shouting
About who was next in the queue
The kind of thing that would seem so silly
But not when they've both had a few

Well calm down, temper, temper
You shouldn't get so annoyed
You're acting like a silly little boy
And they wanted to be men
And do some fighting in the street
(They said) no surrender
No chance No Retreat

So why are we in a taxi?
I didn't want to leave
I said it's Shire Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?
Went for it but the red light was showing
And the red light indicates doors are secured