Lyrics: Monologue Song

I like glitter and sparkly dresses
But I'm not gonna talk about that
In my monologue
I like baking and things that smell like winter
But I'm not gonna talk about that
In my monologue

La la la,
La la la

I like writing songs about douch-bags who cheat on me
But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue
I like writing their names into songs
So that they're ashamed to go in public
But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue

La la,
La la la la la
This is my musical monologue!

You might think I'd bring up Joe
That guy who broke up with me on the phone
But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes*
In my monologue
[Spoken:]
Hey Joe, I'm doing real well
Tonight I'm hosting SNL
[Sings:]
But I'm not gonna write about that
In my monologue

La la la, ha ha ha
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, la la la

And if you're wondering if I might
Be dating the werewolf from Twilight
[mouths: "Hi Taylor!" giving a little wave and blows a kiss
into the camera and a wink]
I'm not gonna comment on that
In my monologue

La la,
La la la la la
This is my musical monologue

[looks around]

You might be expecting me to say
Something bad about Kanye
And how he ran up on the stage
And ruined my VMA monologue
[Breathes and sighs...smiles]

But there's nothing more to say
Cause every thing's okay
I've got security lining the stage

It's my SNL monologue
La la,
La la la la la
This is my SNL monologue

La la,
La la la la la
That was my SNL monologue