Lyrics: Close Escape

That was a close escape
had to get a new hobby to relate
something less conspicuous
won’t take up too much time

Something less energetic
for what I’ve got in mind
I won’t be too persistent
‘cos I’m not that way inclined

C that’s the one for me
look under Collins and see if she’s free
sweaty fingers find 5p
four one five one six eight three
hello Miss Collins you’ll not know me
I’m in the undies business see
please please can you tell me
the size how far from the knee

Oh dear dear me luck is running thin
I’ll take another name I might have a win
got two more coins
I don’t know I hope no one’s listening in

D that’s the one for me
look under Dickens C F G
see if she’ll speak to me
hands are getting shaky eyes can’t see
having trouble finding 5p
two one seven one nine eight three
hello Miss Dickens you’ll not know me
I’m in the undies business see

Feel more relaxed now here we go again
oi no peeping someone must take me in
oh dear dear me luck is running thin

So please please can you tell me
the texture feel feels good to me
in the naked nude
try to grin and bare with me
please don’t think me rude
I only hear don’t want to see
ha ha

E that’s the one for me
that was quick too quick for me
of that I can see
what’s your name Mildred well bugger me
sugar in milk in me tea
no I couldn’t well I’ll see
what’s you’re hobby?
just the same as me
see you soon for tea

I’ll give it one last chance I think you’ll all agree
I’m getting no game here I’m onto my last 5p
I’ll flicker through the pages nothing interests me
I’ll ring another number make sure it’s a C
here we go again I’ll give it third degree
no hards below yes I’m sure you’ll all agree
I’ll take another name I might have a win