Lyrics: Alfie

Ooh deary me
My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed
I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly half past three
He can't be bothered cos he's high on THC
I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea
I can't even see you cos the room is so smokey
Don't understand how one can watch so much TV
My baby brother Alfie how I wish that you could see

[Chorus]
Ooh I only say it cos I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there's no need to swear
Please don't despair my dear mon frère

Ooh Alfie get up it's a brand new day
I just can sit back and watch your life waste away
You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid
Get off your lazy arse, Alfie please use your brain
Surely there's some walls out there that you can go spray
I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray
Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid
When all you do is stay and play on your computer games

[Chorus]

Oh little brother please refrain from doing that
I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat
It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat
Just look me in the eyes take off that fitted cap

[Chorus]

Please don't despair
Please don't despair