Lyrics: The Laughing Gnome

I was walking
Down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (hello!)
Scarlet and Gray, chuckling away

Well he trotted
Back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (ahh)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day

i'll have to report you to the gnome office
(gnome office? ahahahah!)

Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Said the laughing gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine (*burp* pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bags, and gave him a fag (have you got a light boy?)

hey where do you come from?
(gnome-ans land, hehe!)
oh really?

In the morning
When i woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother who's name was Fred
He brought him along
To sing me a song

alright let's hear it
now, what's that clicking noise?
(that's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha)

Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

(oh now, i'm a gnome anyway haha)
haven't you got a home to go to?
(no, we are gnome-ads hehe)
didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school you look like a rolling gnome
(nah, not at the London school of eco-gnome-ics)

Now they're staying
Up me chimney
And we're living on cavier and honey (hurray!)
Cos they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose
For radio shows

it's the errrr
it's the gnome-service of course!

Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee (oh really)
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
(one more time!)
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me